miss you

i want to be mad at you.
want to scream at you
punch you
hold it against you.

i want to loath you.
need to remind myself why
you
suck.

i want to say mean things to you.
to mean it when i call you a jerk,
an ass,
a typical, self-absorbed, emotionally stunted boy.

i want to make you feel bad.
feel rejected
dejected
neglected
(even in your dreams).

But,
i can't.
two little words -
miss you
make it
impossible. because

i miss you too.